Quasi – The Victim of Their Own Stories

Once upon a time at a workplace, this story deserves popcorn and an adult beverage of choice. Oh, Quasi – will any story ever be real? Some fabricators somewhere along their life path choose to take the invention of small lies into great stories and facts that don’t exist, to become pathological fibbers. Every employee wants to make to a level where they are known as a subject matter expert or jack of all trades or the It person. Many not choose petty and lying – not here to judge. Just stating a fact, known as true, proven true by testing or it’s undisputed to exist.

There are all different types of liars, such as: perjurer (love to lie under oath), prevaricator (formal for a person who avoids the truth or misleads), deceiver (person who tricks others into believing what is not true), and fabricator (person who invents false stories or facts). Quasi was a fabulist, a fancy way to describe a person who makes up elaborate and false tales. I can see the animated crows singing a rather unpleasant tune, but no matter what Quasi loves it.

Lifelong liars adapt to the practice, to gain attention, avoid shame, and as a booster for low self-esteem. The goal is to gain sympathy ultimately. That way distracts from others ever seeing the real person behind the charade. While this can happen to individuals in violent and abusive situations; you don’t tend to see it come out at a workplace. It can, but work is generally a constant haven. In the workplace, like this scenario, it 100% need to manipulate others.

Like most Disney movies, Quasi was the stepsister who didn’t possess the pure qualities of the star of the movie. One sister was beautiful, one sister was smart, and one was Quasi. Always jealous, therefore would get attention with an elaborate answer or story. So, she lands a real full-time employment. College sketchy. Job history is sketchy. The whole new world of being a victim opened. A fabricated re-write of history could be a parasite and survive by sucking the life out of another with stories of heroism and intelligence.

Others would finally see how amazingly well she lied, and lied, and lied, and how did that change happened, wait, what did she just say, and when words didn’t come, looks happened. The major problem with lying is that you must remember the lie told. If not, things fall apart quickly. Deflect is required, then drop another lie and gain that sympathy back.

In the workplace, in a three-month range of time:

·       General Ledger entries: I don’t know why you can’t find the journal entry; you told me to place it under safety. I can find the email or not I took. I never make mistakes. I was probably Ed who did it. You know he always calls me to double check his work (truth: Ed is the one assigned to always check her work, as 70% of the entries are wrong, and email can never be produced). It must be QuickBooks updated and did that.

·       Past Due Invoices & Payment entries: Why are you yelling at me. I pay for everything as it comes in and checks go out on time. They are wrong. I can’t stop what I’m doing now to look it up. I need to eat my lunch. My mom was sick, I’m the one who helps everyone. I was up all night taking care of her. Oh, hi mom. I’ll look it up later.

 [breathe break]

·       Problem Solved: I never make mistakes; I set up and did the books at another job. I’m always to the penny. I found a penny that caused everything to be off (exactly one penny since x date) Wasn’t that the date you started, you were upset no one recognized your anniversary date. Amazing solving skills, Quasi, there are two shipments of parts on hold because you didn’t pay the past due amounts. I paid them, you call them and tell them to check their records, problem is clearly on their end. They called me, because you hang up on them when they call you, Quasi. Production is stopped. That’s not a me problem, I did my job perfectly.

·       DOL Fine: Why did to answer this labor inquiry and where did this information come from? I’ve done these years, before you. I called their supervisor and he said it was crap and the employee was wrong. So, I wrote that. I never say anything when you step on my toes. Your toes are stepped on when I must fix your mess ups. Like this one that’s fining us because you filled out wrong and didn’t attach the correct information. (Immediately calls her boss to cry about falsely being accused).

 [breathe break]

·       Eavesdropping: After snoop session, gets on phones to call others about the changes she heard and it’s bad, but here is what to prepare for. Those called, get nervous and what answers – so they call other in the office about it. These individuals get angry (at the innocent ones confused by their inquiry and anger) because they were played as fool by Quasi. Sob stories. Sob Stories. Everyone is trying to make her look like an idiot. Her life is a struggle and all she does is the right thing.  

·       Employee Complaints (payroll missing hours): I didn’t remove any hours, they’re lying (present 2 audit reports – reflecting she deleted hours), Someone is using my login information and is trying to frame me. Oh, it doesn’t matter. It was the manager’s fault, they did it. I’ve trained them so many times and employees shouldn’t see any hours and be grateful when they are paid. Quasi, that’s illegal. I said the payroll company messed up the hours. I didn’t make a mistake.

 [breathe break]

·       Paid Family Leave: I don’t agree that men should be allowed to take paid leave when their wife has the baby. So, I didn’t pay the insurance premium. Quasi, that’s illegal and employment law doesn’t need your approval. Pay it immediately. I know how to do my job. It was insulting that I was spoken to about my performance and was written up/ If it wasn’t for this place would crumble. Quasi, I believe you meant to say run like an efficient business once you are terminated. (Immediately calls anyone to be witness to her telling them she was harassed and the language used was vulgar and demeaning, and they could corroborate that it happened.)

·       Purchase Orders: calling managers, I’m too tired to look this up in the system, last night we cleaned the basement and found an old box. I’m sure they are worth a lot of money. Quasi, I’m in the middle of a client meeting right now. Okay, but do you have the PO# for the equipment bought last week?  The chief idiot is requesting it now.

 [breathe break]

·       Inventory Totals: Quasi, I write detailed notes on the invoices to avoid mistakes like this one. This client is demanding answers. They want to see this fixed. Those notes are important. Not really my problem, I’m sure one of the other two in the office did something with them or you can look through that pile over there. We have this conversation a lot and I’m never wrong. My grandmother has been upset all week because she misunderstood my instructions and now wants me to fix it. That’s me, everyone comes to get it right.

 [breathe break]

·       Facebook Posts: It looked like you were bragging about begging for money. How people were so stupid. I thought you said he had cancer and the treatment was to begin next month, but the post says he finished his treatment weren’t you on FMLA for that reason. You made a point that you didn’t trap him into marrying you when you got pregnant, but your post and the other seem to say otherwise. Oh, your Facebook and Instagram accounts were hacked, interesting I didn’t know they could alter post from years ago and not note as ‘edited’. I thought you would mention that she was gravely ill, but her posts show a fun trip to England. You claim you are good friends with him, but you don’t get his updates or are friends with him. Can you clarify where you were the drug user or him? I’m the one in my family everyone goes to for help. I can’t believe my sister is banning me from calling or seeing her. Death threats, I was threatening by my in-laws who say I’ve evil. I cared for my husband and did everything I could to help him, it clear on that post.

[breathe break]

·       Endless Justifications: Of course I studied accounting, I’ve just never heard of liability or liabilities. That must have come out after I left school. Mason must be wrong; I never ever make mistakes. I don’t care if he is CPA. Let me check, I know I did that and paid that. Yes, I managed the finances, and I had no idea where all the money went. I’m not sure why you’d say I got pregnant on purpose. We were separated. I always put my kids first and they are amazing. No, that wasn’t the school calling and demanding a meeting. Of course, told them they didn’t have to pay an insurance premium. No, you told them they didn’t have to pay, you are mean to me. Everyone just wants to date me, but I shut them done.

 [breathe break]

·       Excel Master Level: Your formula is broken on this spreadsheet. Yes, I deleted that column and that shouldn’t affect the formula.

·       Fraud: I needed a new vehicle, I’m not sure why it’s a big deal because I forged your signature.

·       Work from Home: I was working all day from home, I’m not sure why I didn’t get the calls or emails. I don’t why Jay said he saw me driving twice; I only went out to pick up the kids and stop to get something at the store. It was a few minutes, not hours.

·       Documentation: That recorded meeting doesn’t prove me wrong, did you hear Sara’s explanation. That audit reports it wrong; I’ll call our representative and report it. I know I didn’t change any of the information. Yes, I’m the only one who has access, but it wasn’t me.

 [breathe break]

·       Advice (from Devote Blinded Idiots): to new hires; make sure you always bring her little gifts, if not she won’t like you. To those she doesn’t like; she doesn’t have a high tolerance for those who don’t know what they’re doing. To cover her mistakes; well, she said you are at fault and I’m taking her word. To financial losses; clearly, she did everything she could, she couldn’t do everyone’s job and the one she has.

One year, Quasi was given a gift. It was legendary or her response was. A gift card in a reasonable amount. Quasi called the giver and told them to get their money back. When the giver said, if you don’t want it, please give it away for it to be used. Not requested to cancel it would be happening. Quasi took to the phone, like eavesdropping or false claims of harassment; to tell others the ‘giver’ was trying to bribe her to keep the giver’s errors secret. After those calls, the giver’s phone blew up, as the story was pure BS.

The sadness part of victims of their own stories, beyond being called out and looking like idiots; is that no one really believes them. Quasi caused a lot of problems, costly ones.

It’s fascinating how the name changes, but the types of lies are similar.

The sequel: Coming to a workplace near you.