The Trio from Hell

Once upon a time in a workplace, of a medium-size financial institution, a newly recruited department manager inherited the three employees literally no one wanted. Literally, no one in the entire organization wanted them. Whispers had it that the multi-department reorganization that happened, by the existing managers, to get rid of the trio. Speaks to how infamous they were - decades at the organization. 

This is a Survivor's Story. The Manager Survived.

The Trio of Monsters: Linda, the Food Entitlement Crier. Margaret, the Pious Hypocritic. Janis, the Graphic Instigator. 

A typical day included Janis and Margaret ganging up on Linda. Linda absolutely loved it and considered the attention positive. The Margaret would lecture Janis parenting and ex-relationships. Janis would push back, then wage graphic sexual remarks at Linda. Lind would respond, then Margaret would target her with remarks of shame. That was just until 10a.

After ten some work would happen, however the chatter focused on mocking Linda for multiple wandering and coming back with food. After everyone of Linda's personal calls, all could be heard clearly, it would state new rounds of her toxic and narcissistic parent style (they weren't wrong to be concern or upset), but it was not the place for it. By 1p Margaret would get on Janis's last nerve and they would bicker. In between all of this anyone walking by the area heard it all, which is why during the restructure they were moved to a back corner, however it was a fast cut through for other employees to another area through a series of doors. No less than twice per week, something would escalate into a shouting match.

The workload belonging to all of them collectively was 8 months behind, beyond their infamous personalities was their tendency for giving out incorrect information that they were the specialists in. Regularly argued with legal too. Their new manager, plus the directing manager had a lot to turn around. For those wondering why, if these 3 were this bad, they weren't terminated - great question. The answer: over each's tenure absolutely nothing was formal documented, vague listings on performance reviews and nothing else. Yet, everyone knew. Human Resources would not touch them, they would call their manager to come get them or speak with them.

Linda, the Food Entitlement Crier, was most known for her oral skills in the stairwells back thirty years and taking food that didn't belong to her. If she didn't get her way then she'd fall to the floor tantrum style and cry. Ironically, stairwells were her favorite places. Linda didn't operate with full wattage of a old fashion 40W light bulb. She gave 40% and that 40% was riddled with errors, because she didn't have the capacity for critical thinking or problem solving - she was in the wrong role. That said, her personality and behaviors were horrendous, appalling and always stocking.

Linda's list of transgressions: would wander the building and disrupt others that were working to find free food or talk gossip, was banned from the senior leadership floor. Was the first person to be asked if food was missing or taken company-wide. Would invite herself to other's celebrations, especially offsite events. Would regularly outside of work show up to high school or school events for food. Linda was banned from her church's pantry for taking food, no allowed to be on property unless for church service and would need to exit property immediately afterwards. At a company sponsored volunteer event for Food Link, she was taking food. During a company move, into a new building, while cleaning out a storeroom, she took 5 bottles of juice that expired 8 - 10 years before the date she found them. When she participated at a potluck, she would guard her offering so no one could sample and then remove it to take it home.

Moving on to her professional moirologist skills. Anything could set it off, real or fabricated. Given the small size of the department, major holidays vacation requests were rotated for fairness. It was generally a three - five day event of a span of how we were ruining her family's lives, her life, they bought tickets (couldn't produce them), absolutely had to be off, and would badger the co-worker who was granted that this year. The wailing and tantrums were fascinating to witness. If she got bad news - cry. If she didn't get her way - cry. If she was mad - cry. If someone got something she didn't want - cry and demand it.

One of the most challenging aspects of Linda, surrounded her personal life. It was wild, from cheating on her first husband to having an affair (one night stand on a cruise ship) to tracking that crew person down when found out she was pregnant. Tracked him down to an island in the Pacific ocean. It was difficult to tell given what their relationship was, outside that she didn't call him by his actual name, refused to acknowledge his family and the only thing they seem to have in common for a distain for their innocent son. Like he was the reason they go into this situation, neither of them accepted responsibility. They did adore their second child, a daughter and she was spoiled. When her son turned 16 years he was required to pay for any holiday food if he wanted to eat with the family. Her daughter never had to pay. When her husband got mad and would punch holes in the wall, missing her son's face, her son had to pay for the repair. The worst day was when her son called, crying that she never shows or says she loves him. Margaret and Janis were ruthless on situations like this and Linda was oblivious to understand why.

Janis, the Graphic Instigator would graphically use sexually explicit gestures and describe oral sex techniques that professional courtesan would be stunned by, multiple times per day to Linda. Only Linda's other situations, calls, roaming, and other annoying things that irritated Janis could derail that topic. Zero filter or volume control. Her best quality was her upbeat laughter. Lived a life full of some very heavy hard hits; pick herself up with her kids and moved on. With each knockdown, she got up again and moved forward.

Janis's list of transgressions: always late, it was guaranteed. Unhinged verbalizations of what should never leave the thought bubble in her mind. It left and it didn't matter who was in the area. Great at gossiping. Not a single cell in her body could be politically correct; her true talent was making other's blush. Lots of personal issues that interrupted her regularly throughout the day. No issues with work quality at all.

Margaret, the Pious Hypocritic, had to be in control. Always put together; hair, makeup, clothes and shoes. Went to church every morning. Appearances needed to be kept up; to hide how far behind she was, an unhappy marriage, issues with daughter-in-laws, and an affair of the heart that stretched years. Margaret would insert her opinions on other's relationships, like Janis and Linda. Pointing out how perfect her world was. Knowing her personal calls could be heard, always had to reiterate what might have sound that something was wrong. For all her devout religiousness, she could shred with wit and laugh at Janis gestures.

Margaret's list of transgressions: being 18 months behind on her workload and once the new manager got her caught up, slipped right back into that pace. Overthinking and disagreeing with the law or regulations. Absolutely no reverse gear. All judgment and excuses. Legal refused to work with her because she would argue each point, they made. Margaret's greatest moments, ten minutes before leaving to call her husband. Hard of hearing and refused to wear hearing aids. We all knew what was for dinner, she would shout it into the phone several times and give him instructions to turn on the oven, take the marked casserole dish from the refrigerator, second shelf down and place it in the heating oven. On Friday, it was a special treat, having him meet her at a local pub for a fish fry. At work she was well known for her grudges, those she didn't like, and manipulation of others. 

It took a year to get them on a solid platform, transitioning them to upgrades in technology systems to speed up the work efficacy. Each and every change was a battle. They went from being three humans no one wanted to work with to a top performing group within two years. It took Linda's manager almost four years to move her to a role that she could do with ease - her new manager was not thrilled.

No sequel - all retired